Holding On

Just had to share this..

Really touched me and moved me to tears cuz the boy reminds me of myself.

But no matter what Lord, i dun wanna let go of You..

Its the year 2012

Its been exactly 10 months since i last blogged...(the last post was on the 5th of march 2011..what a coincidence!)

wow...time really flies. And here we are, in the year 2012. :)

Sorry (to myself mostly) and whoever out there who is actually still checking out this blog.LOL.. apologies for this long hiatus.

Recently the urge to pen down my thoughts in the form of blogging has been coming at me quite a lot.Its always good to read back on previous posts and take yourself down the trip to memory lane :)

So maybe...just MAYBE..i might start jotting down my thoughts here once in awhile. Or NOT! O.O Hahaha.

anyhow, its just for my own musings and recollection so yea... :)

It's the 5th day of year 2012 and i still have 5 more final exam papers to countdown to before i can officially declare 'HOLIDAYS!' ;)

Time truly flies, no? i still have only 2 more semesters before i graduate. Felt like it was just days ago when i first landed at Johor. That's 4 years of slogging for a piece of cert. haha.

Its more than the song

I'm really blessed by these twin sisters, Janice and Sonia..who are YouTube sensations. Just a song i would like to share.:)

Their voices are no doubt beautiful..but whats more amazing is how they are using the media to influence our generation for Christ through their songs and their life testimony.

<3

DON'T QUIT

Sorry ive been away for soooo long...Rily salute people who blog consistently. It does take lotsa will power ya know? haha

Here's something to share..My mum gave me this card 5 yrs ago and im still keeping it. In it, there's words of treasures that will motivate and give u that much needed boost!

'When Things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

when the funds are low and the debts are high,

and you want to smile , but you have to sigh,

when care is pressing you down a bit.....

Rest if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

as every one of us sometimes learns,

and many a fellow turns about

when he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don;t give up though the pace seems slow....

you may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out...

the silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,

it may be near when it seems afar,

so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,

it's when things seem worst that you

MUSTN'T QUIT!

Guess all of us needs this kinda words of encouragement every once in awhile eh?

I'm actually not in the 'down' season of my life now..But i suppose this will help a few (or many) of you who are finding it hard to carry on.

Like the poem says, rest if you must, but NEVER EVER QUIT.:)

Faith can move mountains!

Wow. Its been really dusty in here eh..(:
*sweeps dust off blogger*

Not that nothing much has been happening over the past 2months..In fact, alot has happened over the last two months.:)

If i could, i would love to update every now and then so i myself can look back on what i've done and be reminded of what has happened in the past. But anyways, one of the reasons why my blog has been lacking in updates is because these days.. i just directly record my thoughts, interesting events, and important stuffs into my journal :)

Blogging is just an avenue for me to share some stuffs which i find may be helpful to some..even if not many..out there.hehe. Anyways, i also dunno why am i talking about why i did not blog....lol



But today, just wanted to share a testimony (like i always do) hehe
Cuz if something great has happened, I believe the person who made that something great happen should be credited. And in this case, its none other than The Lord Jesus Christ! :)




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See, im currently involved in my uni's orientation week (for the new student batches). Im involved in the protocol dept..the job scope which includes doing MCeeing for events, ushering and stuff..
Most of the bros and sis' from my CG are also involved..but they're mostly facilitators..which i think, is much tougher. They barely have any time to rest.:/
Wake up at 6a.m and they work all the way till at 12-1a.m.. ><
I really dunno how i would've managed if i were them.
Really salute~

But i truly believe God knows each of our limits and he assigns us according to which He sees fit.:) praise God for that!



During the MHS (Minggu Haluan Siswa) week, i constantly fell sick. First, it was unexplainable dizziness. Its like, when i talk to someone, i couldn't focus..cuz the images would start to blur and when i stood up, it was like my body was floating and i couldn't walk properly. It went on for a few days prior to MHS. Went to see a few docs, they could not diagnose. Some said it was due to my low blood pressure. Most just gave me dizziness med..which did not work.. and another gave stugeron...which, after i ate, i felt less dizzy.



So came MHS, and i was in a way glad the dizzy spells were less apparent..cuz how am i gonna carry out my duties properly if im constantly dizzy? While i was dizzy, there's nothing much i could do except to sleep. If i read, the word would start to look like they can dance.haha.



But during the first or second day of MHS itself, right after my MCeeing event, i had a terrible stomach pain..I thought.'Why is this happening now?'...cuz i was scheduled for another MCeeing later that afernoon. Seems like it wasn't going away so the brothers from CG sent me to the uni's clinic/PKU. The doc wasn't in so the nurses checked on me and diagnosed it as gastric.


Gave me some meds to take and asked to me rest in the ward while waiting for the doc to come back. But despite taking the med, i still felt a piercing pain in my abdomen..so painful that i had to squat on the floor.And i almost nearly wailed. :0



But somehow or rather, the pain subsided by the time the doc returned..so she discharged me..and bro sent me back to my residential college to get a rest. I was honestly rily in pain and i tried to sleep but could not. Needless to say, all the nights event i could not attend already. But miraculously, the event in which i was supposed to MC was cancelled. In a way, thank God.hehe.



The pain kept coming on and off...on and off..And i was beginning to doubt it was gastric cuz it seemed like it was more of a wind/flatulence problem..which i memang have quite often =.='' Its like my stomach is very bloated. And this truly caused much pain. Even later in the night, i could not get a good sleep cuz the pain kept keeping me awake. The meds did not help.



Next morn, felt better..:) But towards the afternoon, the pain came back. *faints*
I thought it was over..mana tau it will come back again!
I really don't know what was going on with my body..it was like going haywire..
I had my meals, i ate what everybody else ate and drank..And i was very careful with the stuffs i ate..and tried as much possible to get regular meal hours, knowing myself. But yet......... it still plague me.



So, i had to go back to get rest again. Thankfully in the night i wasn't involved in much stuff so i could be excused. But i already missed quite a few sessions so i really was afraid it was going to become a not-so-good testimony to my dept's EXCO. Dun want them to think im lazy or what..



Another day passed and the new day dawn. Lo and behold, when i woke up, my stomach/ abdomen pain was gone. But the next thing i found out, the right side of my head was pounding. I really was speechless by then. Now what? headache? haha. It was beginning to get bizarrely funny~ And bro KY said my body is not in coordination.swt. =.='' Which is true to a certain extent.


So i woke up and went back to sleep again in order to get the pain away. Once i woke up in the evening, felt much better.:D so i went for the night session.

Mid-way thru the non-muslim session, i suddenly had this weird nerve problem.
My eyes was blinking and jumping uncontrollably..It was like they did it automatically and i could not control them at all! And while my eyes blinked profusely, i could not talk nor look people in the eye.
It occured every 5-10 mins.

Boy, was it a nuisance. Cuz i would talk to people half-way and had to excuse myself...Or i would be covering my face for like few mins and they would ask me 'Are u ok?'.



This syndrome out of all the sickness i had was the most worrying of them all. Cuz i could not control it. And worst of all, i dun even know what kinda syndrome is this! Nobody knew..including the bros and sis. And i was actually worried it could be my past epilepy playing tricks on me. Oh no..I was seriously terrified. But i braced myself and attended the night session.

But halfway thru the session, i could no longer take it. It was so severe that it i was losing control over my facial muscle movement. Yep, it was that scary. So the sisters arranged for the welfare unit to send me back to my residential college. And this was when i really had enough of all this nonsense. I really had enough of first the dizziness, then the stomach prob, headache and this eye thingy.

I stumbled upon a book entitled ' Turning Hopeless Situations Around' by Kenneth Hagin. Felt like i could identify with the title..opened it and started reading. Meanwhile, the twitch of eye blinkin sensation stopped.

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To sum up the message of the book:

King Hezekiah was a character in the Bible who was sick to the point of death. God Himself had pronounced a death sentence on him and told him to set his house in order cuz his days were numbered. He was diagnosed with an incurable disease. (Isaiah 38:1-3). But unlike most of us who seek medical help first or look to man for solutions, what Hezekiah did next was out of the ordinary.

'Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord, And said, Remember now, O Lord, I beseech thee, how i have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.' (Isaiah 38:2)

Notice Hezekiah 'turned his face to the wall'.

Turning his face to the wall meant that Hezekiah that turned away from his symptoms; He turned away from his sensations; He turned away from his own sufferings; He turned away from symphatizing relatives; He turned away from medical skill, and He turned his face to the wall.

And with his face to the wall, Hezekiah could see only one thing : GOD.

When i read this portion, it just struck me. And it struck me really hard. Cuz i knew God was speaking to me.

The docs couldn't help me, the meds didnt, and nobody could. And i knew there was only one person left who could actually heal me completely. Why didn't i seek God much earlier then? i have to admit, the constant bouts of sicknesses had dampened my spirits and diluted my faith to a certain degree. I had doubts.

But God's Word is already clear that 'Without faith, it is impossible to please God'.
And i knew it was time to act and exercise my faith, like my dad told me before. He said, 'medicines are not a solution, the ultimate solution is God'.

I realized that prior to this, i was afraid of exercising my faith. But how could i anymore? if Hezekiah who was terminally ill could plead his case and cause even the great God to change His mind, i can too! God is not robot. He listens to our prayers and attends to our needs. Finally, God added 15 years to his life!

God is the same God yesterday, today and forevermore. We change, He does not. If He could do for Hezekiah many yrs ago, He can still do it for me today.

With this truth in hand, i decided to act on the Word of God and claim healing from the top of my head to the tip of my soles. I claimed it repeatedly and commanded all sicknesses to go in the name of Jesus. Cuz afterall, all believers have the authority. It has already been given to us. It is us who must act on it now.

After that i went to bed.:) The symptoms did not immediately go..it was there. But i ignored it, nullified it and slept peacefully.:)

And guess what? The next morning, once i woke up..all the symptoms and sicknesses were gone! Really praise GOD!
I was really, really elated that i was healed completely and that i dun have to miss sessions edi! :D

And i shared with some of the bros and sis about what happened.:)

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Just really wanna thank the Lord for my healing.
Truly, He taught me that nothing in this world in too hard for Him.Even if u have cancer.Im serious.
And i also thank the Lord for teaching me thru these episodes to put my entire faith in Him.
And i realized also another vital point which truly touched my heart --- the very fact that God is more interested in me than in what i can do for Him.

I was all out to reach out for Him during MHS, but God could see that i needed to renew my faith and exercise it. Thus He allowed me to go thru it the hard way so I'd learn :)

Do know that whatever u are facing today, be it problems or challenges, nothing is impossible with God!:D

Are we too attached to the World?

I have so much to share at this point....Well, honestly, I have alot to share ever since I was sent to Parit Raja, Batu Pahat, Johor. And in a way, i broke a record i never thought i could: It has been almost a month since the last time i came back to KL.:)
And that is just something...that exceeds myself. Not that i am competing against anyone..like to see who can last longer living in a village-like place with dirty water or what.lol. I would say it was an inner struggle....I was struggling against myself. The carnal me wanted to run back to KL...a place of comfort and ease, but my spirit held me back each time. Because when i am away from the hustle and bustle of the city...there the Lord revealed much of Himself.

Praise be to God! Cuz i know if it weren't for Him, i would not have managed to 'tahan' so long for sure:)

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Here's something I believe it is timely for me to share....It is from excerpted from David Wilkerson's online journal (Wilkerson is an American watchmen and intercessor).
A very short but awakening message.


We Are Too Earthbound

Have you noticed there is very little talk nowadays about heaven or about leaving this old world behind? Instead, we are bombarded with messages on how to use our faith to acquire more things. "The next revival," said one well-known teacher, "will be a financial revival. God is going to pour out financial blessing on all believers."

Any message about death bothers us. We try to ignore even thinking about it and think that those who discuss it are morbid. Occasionally we will talk about what heaven must be like, but most of the time the subject of death is taboo.

What a stunted concept of God's eternal purposes! No wonder so many Christians are frightened by the thought of death. The truth is, we are far from understanding Christ's call to forsake the world and all its entanglements. He calls us to come and die—and to die without building memorials to ourselves. To die without worrying how we should be remembered. Jesus left no autobiography—no headquarters complex—no university or Bible college. He left nothing to perpetuate his memory but the bread and the wine.

How different the first Christians were. Paul spoke much about death. In fact, our resurrection from the dead is referred to in the New Testament as our blessed hope. But nowadays, death is considered an intruder that cuts us off from the good life we have become accustomed to. We have so cluttered our lives with material things, we are bogged down. We can no longer bear the thought of leaving our beautiful homes, our lovely things, our charming sweethearts. We seem to be thinking, "To die now would be too great a loss. I love the Lord—but I need time to enjoy my real estate. I married a wife. I've yet to prove my oxen. I need more time."

What is the greatest revelation of faith, and how is it to be exercised? You will find it in Hebrews: "These all died in faith...and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.... But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city" (Hebrews 11:13 and 16).

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Reflections.....

You know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with material blessings...And God loves to bless His children! But i can't help but ponder if... that our modern day Christianity has become so full of herself. So full of ourselves. More blessings, more wealth, more abundance. More more more. 'Give us more Lord'. And again i say, nothing wrong with blessings. Please don't get me wrong.:) I love being blessed too.

But the danger comes when our desire for blessings covers and hinders us from the reality of God and that our true citizenship is not here on earth. I know very well that i might be contradicting myself by saying all these....cuz i do admit its a 'dying to self' is continuous process and it is not done overnight. And i still have my desires. But still, i have to say what i feel i should say.

You can walk away feeling very offended and disgusted.. or you can ask God to help you digest His Word in Hebrews 11:13. I can only say so much, but ultimately, the Word of God stands the test of time :)

Those who sow in tears shall reap in J0Y! (Plus a MIRACLE story)

You know life is like a roller coaster.
You have your ''ups'' and your ''downs''.

Normally, my ''ups'' will surpass the ''downs''...prolly cuz im quite an optimistic person. I always believe in looking on the brighter side. Not the type to get EMO.
But no matter how ''up'' i go, there are times when i just have to come ''down''....

At this transition and juncture of my life, im at my lowest point.

I was making a very tough decision, and have already made the decision through much struggle, tears and pain. Thank God however. Cuz i know i am taking the best path and its the choice that pleases Him. But you know...i never knew obedience could be so painful and so difficult...

I've read of how the men and women of God in the Bible sacrificed the pleasures and comforts of their lives for God, just like Abraham and Queen Esther, but i never knew....it can be so, so hard to answer the call of God. So hard that you feel like running away...running back to where you can find solace.....just like Jonah at first...

What exactly did Jesus mean when He said that whoever wants to follow Him must take up their cross and follow Him?
Perhaps im getting an inkling of it now...
The cross is not a piece of cake. The one Jesus carried weighed so physically heavily upon him that He needed Simon of Cyrus to help Him carry on the way to Golgotha.
The cross He bore was approximately 76 kilograms. Imagine. Honestly, 2 kg is already too much for me to bear...

So when Christ said we had to carry our cross, i don't think He meant it was going to be an easy task. Not just physically, but in all emotional and spiritual aspect as well...

Jesus laid down all His rights as a Son of God..all His powers and glory.. when He descended to earth as a man. Jesus laid down that part of His rights as a Son of God in complete surrender to Father God. He had all the rights to question Father God, ''Why Me?''. I mean why couldn't Jesus have came in all His splendor and glory instead? That would have caused the whole world to believe that indeed, He is the Saviour.

But no, Jesus chose to obey the creative plan of Father God. I mean who would have thought that God would send His son to descend in human form? And as a tiny baby born in the lowliest manner? :)
I've come to realize that God's ways are always extraordinary and peculiar. Even in my life.(:

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Obedience always brings about testing.
And honestly, i never knew the test can be so much harder and even more painful than the decision of obeying itself. If you get my point.

Obedience = Very hard
The test that comes with Obedience = So hard that can die.(not literally tho)

I feel so alone in this journey..
Now that im back in KL, I feel like i can escape the 'pain' back in Johor even just for a couple of days. But i know i will have to face reality sooner or later.
Oh that God would truly enlarge my capacity for Him~
and grant me strength to do His will.

God, i know you are with me. Your Word assures me again and again. Continue to uphold me with thy righteous right hand. Evil or schemes will not prevail against me. For if my God is for me then who can be against me? Help me to intensify my prayer life even in times of need,struggle and suffering, Lord. Amen.




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Even in the midst of my lowest point, you know God is just so faithful? I can't help but to repeat that over and over again!
Here's a miracle experience to encourage everyone and to give JESUS all the glory!

My family has 2 cars. One Waja, and One old Merc.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, the Waja was stolen in the month of November last year.(2009)
It was stolen in Leisure Mall.. when my parents parked the car at the carpark, only to realize it was Gone when they came back! Poof! hilang!
They checked the CCTV with the guards and saw how the thieves drove the car away. So hebat...
Well,I'll spare you the details..but the point is the Waja was stolen.

And you know whats the truly amazing part?

Never once was a car stolen in the guards' 15 years of work at Leisure Mall.
It has NEVER occurred before.
That's what baffles all of us.

And the weirder part, why would the thieves wanna steal an old Waja (its WKH already..) when there were so many biggg luxurious cars like BMWs in the carpark?

And to top it off, i just came back from the prayer school, SOL at Sabah at that time when my mum broke the news to me. Call me crazy or super spiritual or what..But at that point, i just sensed that it might be a warfare. A deterrent from the evil one. I could be wrong but thats just my POV. But i knew even if it was not warfare, it was definitely a test from God.
Cuz the way it happened and why it happened as well as the timing was all too unusual....

Thereafter, my parents got over it. But it was difficult when there's only 1 car left and with 4 ppl in the family who needs to use it. ><
But we made do with whats left.
Oh and the awesome part?
My dad drove my mum to work during that period of time.hehe.
Rekindle the romance what right? haha
And they tried to claim insurance etc etc and our new car, a bigger and better one, is arriving soon.Due this week i think.

But you know the way God works is so amazing?
Just yesterday, my sis told me the police found the Waja!
Im like....W H A T??? S E R I O U S?
I have not got the details from my parents yet, but according to sis,
they caught the two thieves and the car is now at the police station.
After so long.....man...im utterly speechless....

First and foremost, how on earth can a car that is lost be found?
even retrieving a wallet is near impossible. A CAR???!!

I
can
only
say

WOW.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH THE GOD I SERVE.

I was laughing all the way cuz i was in SHOCK.
And then i had to give thanks to God.
Not so much on getting back the car..my parents wud be happier with that..But because God showed me thru this incident that He is still the God who sits on the throne. No matter what is happening..even if the whole world turns their back against me.. God is still for me. He never fails. Never fails.

It was really a boost for me especially when im rather discouraged by circumstances now.
This incident reminded me about God being in control of EVERYTHING~

So now we will have 3 cars.
And i can't help but think, did God just answer my prayer for a car?(for university use)
Cuz i have recently been praying bout it. LOL.

Amazed I am