Confessions of a Heart filled with Faith

Woke up at close to 5 a.m today, because something seemed to be gushing out of my throat again..I knew that it was coming.

Rushed to the toilet sink and out came those blood...

This time, it was worse, cuz it just kept coming and i couldn't suppress the coughs like i've tried doing before. Immediately i rushed to my parents room and knocked numerous times at their door.

I couldn't control the coughs that were coming out from my lungs..and one after another, the blood just kept getting released in more and more quantities. At one point, i was so frightened that i grasped my lungs with my hand..cuz i was beginning to gasps for air..i couldn't breathe cuz it felt like my lungs were going to collapse.
My carnal being thought i wasn't going to make it if it continued like this. But i knew deep down, i WILL and i CAN pull through this challenge..cuz by his striped I am healed!

Dad and mum was praying continuously beside me and commanding with authority of the believer for the blood to cease. After i dunno how many minutes of continuous coughs..it finally did cool down.Praise the Lord, for He is My Jehovah Rafah, the Great Physician.

I was still breathing very hard, but at least it got better.Took the med and tried going back to sleep.Finally fell asleep at about 6+.....

**Even right now, I'm listening to 'Oceans will part'...it's so relevant to my situation.And i believe even to soem of yours.=)

'As you open my eyes to the work of Your hands....Present sufferings may pass,Lord your mercy will last........And my heart will find praise, i'll delight in your ways..... Hope will rise, glory shown...In my life your will be done.'

Whatever may come my way, i will always have FAITH in the Lord.
Just like Job did when God tested Him by taking away the lives of his family, his possesions, and even afflicted him with diseases and all the worst things you could think of. And you would've thought Job would let go of God, even his wife told him to,but that was the last thing he would ever do.

May i exercise the mountain-moving faith of people like Job~

For He is the potter, and I'm His mould. =)

Faith.Faith.Faith

Crushed, but not destroyed.

Just when everything seems to be going great for me, work at Starbucks,supportive family,relationships, great friends, my own e-boutique business, a holiday to UK in March, an opportunity to touch lives and so much more...all of a sudden, something major comes up and threatens to shatter my hopes and dreams.

All i can say right now is please PRAY for me....I'm in need of fervent prayers.

I was thinking of all the possibilities on why i could be susceptible to such a thing, but i guess right now, it's not about asking 'why?' but to focus on the solution and on the God of Miracles.

Deep down, i'm feeling awkward..I can't even begin to find the right words..haha..Even as im writing this, tears are welling up in my eyes.It's not like im angry with God for allowing that to happen, but i've somehow accepted it as part of His plans for my life. As out-of-the-ordinary as it might seem, i am confident and i know that He will always be in control.

And i believe the Lord somehow gave me an insight while i was pondering over the situation that has arised so abruptly. I remember what certain pastors like Ps.Elijah said before, 'When you surrender your life to God and asks Him to truly use you for His purposes, you will face challenges and lots of trials along the way...And you can be assured that God will TEST you along the way so that you will become the refined instrument for His glory.'
The key thing i believe is, PERSEVERANCE right now.

I will persevere and emerge victorious from this battle.=)

'The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.2 Corinthians 10:3-5 '

I will have mountain-moving FAITH~

The Mane Issue

There! Finally the pics of my new hairstyle is up.teehee.

Dye + Perm

I think it looks so luscious and wavy that i can't exactly believe it belongs to me. haha.

Cuz when i first had it done like 1-2weeks ago, it looked kinda dull. I mean it looks nice, i like it, but not the type of perm i wanted...so i went back to the salon 2days later and re-permed it. (Thankfully my stylist was nice enough to not charge me extra..cuz it'll really make me broke..the dye + perm costs about RM 480..and that is also after mum bargained and got some discounts.)

Side view.
Like the brownish-red colour.

Will just let the pic do the talking...

And finally,

I like~

--Actually, the camera did a great job too..cuz in reality, my locks probably doesn't look as silky and gorgeous as it is in those photos.HAHA--

Have a great weekend peeps! I have morning shift tomorrow~

Doing what i can,the best i can.

LOL.
I'm actually at my mum's tuition centre now...at Bandar Utama~

Just started my second class with some standard 5 and 6 students. And today, a form 1 gal joined the extra class in which im their 'lao shi'(teacher).

I'm using the computer at the counter cuz everyone has gone back except myself, mum, and a student whose dad is coming to pick him late. Kesian. Oh yea..and im waiting for my mum who is having a meeting with one of the teachers in the office room.

How did i get involved with my mum's centre?
You see..there was a few students who were quite weak in english and bahasa melayu..And during normal classes, they find it extremely hard to keep up with the teacher's pace.
Therefore, my mum asked me if i was interested in helping them by giving extra classes. After pondering about it, i finally said yes. (Although i'm currently working at Starbucks as a part-timer already)

I figured it'll be good if i can see a bit of improvements...even just a little...it would really bring much joy to the parents who are clueless as to what to do about their kids..
Of course, mum said she will pay me rather handsomely..and i gotta admit that's one of the reasons why i eventually took a day off from my job at Starbucks to teach at her tuition centre.
But that's beside the point..
I genuinely wanted to be able to help them in one way or another...although honestly speaking, i did doubt myself cuz its not easy to teach standard 5,6 and form 1 students who cant read nor write up till this stage.

Yes, they seriously don't know how to construct simple sentences like 'Umur saya sebelas tahun.'
I was shocked.
But immediately after the initial shock, a wave of empathy flooded me...i really, really symphatize with these kids and therefore today... i tried various ways to interact with them and make the class interesting for 3 hours.

I drew pictures on the board, gave them role play sessions, and mostly...i used chinese to communicate with them since the three of them are chinese educated. And the words i wrote on the board has to be accompanied by chinese translations for easier understanding.
And boy..was that difficult!
i hadn't been learning my mandarin for about 8 years already! (my chinese education is only up to UPSR =/ )
But thank God, i still knew some basic words.
(Next week, i am definitely bringing a chinese dictionary!)

I thank God for granting me this opportunity to touch their lives even if this is only the beginning.
To see the smile on their faces when i encourage them by giving positive affirmations is just sooooo rewarding..
If they can, and i believe they can, learn to write and read well in future.. That'll be the truest satisfaction one can ask for.
=)


Please do uphold:
Yung Kei
Hooi Fong
Jia Le
David

in your prayers~ that they will be able to cross this hurdle in life. Nothing is impossible.

Yung Kei.

Hooi Fong.

The wonderful kids and myself. I look tired..but...happy! =D

~Today is actually an extremely special day for me and someone.A milestone after 3years.~ =)

Finally got my own camera =P

I'm really delighted right now.=)

Because i know i've been desiring for a camera for so long...i think eversince i discovered the ''art'' of camwhoring and taking photos whenever i see something that captures my imagination. The last part was exaggeration.haha.

Simply put, i love taking photos. =)))

And somehow, i believe that taking photos is important cuz it will be a memoir for me many years down the road..At least i know how i look like and what hairstyles i had before,etc....(Talking bout hairstyles, i've just had a makeover! Pictures might be up soon.haha.) To see the changes in all my friends and family years after...the thought of it is just so warm and fuzzy. =D

And all the sweet memories with my loved ones can be brought back to life simply by looking at the photos.=)

Right now, i'm just bubbling with joy..not just because of the camera but it's because i know God has been so faithful to me. I know i'm diverting a bit..but just hear me out yea. God knows how loooong i've wanted this Canon Ixus camera.... i wanted an electric blue, and 70 IS was good enough. Haha. I just wanted a digital compact cam so desperately! (Taking photos with my hp was fine..but it frustrates me when i can't get clear pictures.)

So my plan was to work and then use my own salary to get this camera. Well and good i thought. By the way, i just got a job at Starbucks! come visit! =)

But who would've known God would bless me with the camera of my dreams from Daddy. I have to thank my mum too, cuz she was the one who told dad about my passion for photography.Haha.

I just can't begin to think about how absolutely good the Lord is. He sees the desires of your heart and begins to work in wonderful ways..just to make u happy. =) Of course, the desire of your heart should be parallel to His will for your life.

But the last thing i would imagine was to get something like a camera from dad, cuz my whole family knows how thrifty he is. His favourite quote is, ''I am a very practical person..i don't mind spending money on things that are truly necessary.'' And camera is not exactly a necessary thing in his list. haha.

Sometimes, getting 10bucks alone from dad is so difficult cuz he believes in investing for the long term by purchasing properties instead of a momentary splurge on cars, clothes, furnitures,etc...those of which he says are liabilities instead of assets ( since they don't generate income for you) Which is actually very true. Even houses are liabilties you know? Whatever that sits there and does not generate income for you IS a liabilty already.
Err..sidetracked again..sorry..haha..im getting so business-y nowadays. Im actually wondering if i should take up business course..hmm..Still have to pray about it.

So, as you can see..i was just so happy when he presented the camera to me on saturday night.And its double the blessings cuz i got an 80 IS instead of 70. =D
Just wanna thank the Lord soooooooo much for everything.
He has truly blessed me with so much..like a song that goes..''So much, i can't contain it, so much, i've gotta give it away...''
Remember that we can never ever ever outgive God. So lets be generous with our offerings and tithes!

~ The cam is actually pink! but due to the lighting it looks more silver than pink. ~

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37: 3-5

Instant Encouragements

After ushering into the new year with countdowns and fireworks, the hype of festivities gradually comes to a halt and the normality of life will eventually sink in..And most of us will come to realize that new year resolutions are easier said than done. Not trying to sound pessimistic, but the fact is, it does happen doesn't it?

But we also have the world's bestselling book and the living Word of God---the Bible, to guide us thru the rollercoaster rides in life yea.And this is applicable to ALL.(not just christians ya)

Do check these out according to the seasons in your life or whenever you need instant encouragements :

• If you're afraid (Psalms 27 ; 91 ; 121 ; 139)
• If you wonder about the future of the world (Matthew 24, 1 Timothy 4, Book of Revelation)
• If you're suffering ( Book of Job)
• If you're sick (James 5)
• If you're looking for eternal life (John 3)
• If you're happy (Psalms 95-101)
• If you need some common sense (Book of Proverbs)
• If you're feeling guilty (Psalm 51)
• If you're tempted to sin ( 1 Corinthians 10)
• If you need to make a decision (Proverbs 3, James 1)
• If you want to know what real love is( 1 Corinthians 13 )
• If you wonder about death (1 Cor 15, 2 Cor 5)
• If you wonder about God's power (Genesis 1, Exodus 1-15, Isaiah 40)
• If you're wondering what being a follower of Jesus is all about ( John 13-16)

I'm sure these will come in handy at different points of your life! =D

Be sure to maximize the usage of our Bibles and not let it collect dust on the shelf okie.
Now, that's a new year resolution for me that must be kept no matter what.

Cheers!

* A lil' bookmark from Bee Kwang 2 years ago.=) luv it *

Change

A few discoveries about myself made between late 2008 and early 2009:

1. I lost approximately 3 kg. I'm now around 42 kg, which is.......a tad too skinny for my height. And i think my previously 'Normal' BMI (Body Mass Index) is now categorized as 'Underweight'. How's that for a start in new year?haha. Honestly though, I'm partly happy,cuz it i won't have to go on a diet whatsoever.But note that, being slim is entirely different from being fit.

Slim = Fit. FALSE. ( can't find the ''not equals'' mathematical sign...haha)

So, i will have to start going for jogs regularly or risk registering for a gym membership at
Fitness First which will probably not be put to full use in the long run.That always
happens isn't it?

Hopefully i'll gain some weight during Chinese New Year.=P
Eat loads and loads of new year cookies and crackers.Muahahaha.
Meanwhile, its time to keep FIT!

2. My pimples have miraculously stopped popping out like........like...i dunno what.
But those hideous red lil thingies have decided to leave me alone for good. =D Yay!
The funny thing is, my diet hasn't exactly changed, though my sleeping habits have
improved (since STPM and all the stress is over and done with). So why are they not
popping out so frequently like they use to?

Something tells me its due to mature hormones. (I'm still too young for the word 'ageing'
okie.) Just can't believe im no longer a -teen(nineteen,sixteen..all histories) this year. I'm a
-ty already! aaaaaaaaahhhhh. Okie, its not that bad i reckon. hehe. Was overreacting. But
the swiftly passing time is really amazing. In a blink of an eye, we're in 2009! Whoever
came up with the ''time flies'' line is so right. It really flieeeeeessss even before my
resolutions are fulfilled. Hahaha.

Anyway, back to point.Am just glad the zits have stopped bothering me, although they still

do occasionally. But its way better now. Thank God.

Erm, i can't really think of anything else at the moment..am kinda tired actually. But whatever changes it may be, i just wanna thank God for His faithfulness to me throughout year 2008. I truly believe that year 2009 will be a year of greater challenges.But that also means there'll be more victories! =D No matter what, my hope is in Christ the Lord.

'Spread out! Think Big! Let's grow!'